Its My Alibi

Up until Wednesday, December 11^th, 2013, the only hard-copy atomic-bomb connection I was able to make was based on brief statements my dad made about where he was and what he did during his military service in the Marines, (during his WW II military service), while stationed in Okinawa, Saipan and Tinian Island. Other than these statements, we never had any other significant conversation or had seen any significant documentation about his military experiences…

Then, during the last few days of his life, while confined to a bed in Bay Pines VA hospital, St. Petersburg, Florida, was the subject discussed with a visiting group of, what I now know as ‘Atomic-Vets’ (Veterans who had been exposed to various forms of exploded atomic-bomb radiation and had residual after effects exhibiting illnesses defined as radiation poisoning). It was based on this meeting that my brother Curtis filed a claim with Los Alamos atomic bomb testing lawsuit… as our dad, in the last 13 years of his life, had numerous and compounding medical  conditions that were all characteristic of residual radiation poisoning…

 At age 63 1/2, after 10+ years of illnesses, dad passed away June 27^th, 1987… rest in peace Dad.

A few years earlier, my parents had divorced and Dad remarried Eunice…

Also, on December 12, 2013 and afterwards, I received a series of eMail update messages from bother Curtis, about Eunice. (The messages copied below)…

Now, here’s where this story continues…  Eunice just passed away this past December 09, 2013… rest in peace Eunice.

Curtis and my step-sister Sharon went into the condo to deal with estate settlement and personal property issues…

After Dad’s and now Eunice’s passing, (from observations my brother Curtis made, who did Medicare insurance work for them), Curt stated that the condominium ‘they’ lived in had remained basically unchanged since my dad passed away some 26 years ago, as sort of a time captured capsule . The only understandable element missing from the condominium was that my dad’s clothes had been removed. Other than that, everything remained exactly as it was 26+ years ago, even down to the analog television set still in the condominium…

* Curtis, Sent: Thursday 12/05/2013   FYI:  either today or tomorrow Eunice will be admitted to Hospice.  Once more information is known I’ll forward if you’re interested………..

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* Curtis, Sent: Monday 12/09/2013 … Eunice died 20 minutes ago =(

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Then, Curt and I communicated in this series of messages:

* Curtis, Sent Wednesday 12/11/2013 I’m having an “OH MY” moment.  As you know Eunice died.  Sharon, (Eunice’s daughter), has started going through stuff at Sea Towers and has found a plethora of items from dad… soon as they’re all assembled I’ll be shipping them to the keeper of the archives, Donald.  Anyway I opened an envelope and my jaw dropped.  You’ll recall, or perhaps not, that back when I entered dad’s name onto the Los Alamos atomic bomb testing lawsuit… this was related to his exposure to radiation while at and flying over ‘Japan’.  Fast forward the VA pretty much dismissed his claims but alas look at the attached photos… I’ve numbered the pairs, below (in the eMail), is what he wrote on the back of them, (the photographs).

1.  His military ID card (front) along with pictures of two unknown fellow Marines, where this photo was taken is unknown.

2.  Pilot/copilot, Lt. ‘Manchembaul’ (?) (hard to read the writing) and Capt. Land, ship 45 Bottom pic; I believe it says Omuri japan or it could be Amuri (??)    (Picture at the end of this narrative)…

3.  Starts to get interesting.  I think these two photos are of the same harbor, Nagasaki.  Pic with the ships in the upper right corner has on the back, Nagasaki, south central, alt. 1500 ft.  (The) other, Nagasaki Bay, 3500 ft….

4.  Pic that looks like a bunch of warehouse just says Nagasaki and the other, Nagasaki looking south to untouched part of city…..

5.  This is the ‘OH MY’ picture with obvious structures that seem intact says, 60% Nagasaki, 2ed atomic bomb, atomic bomb 10 days after bomb drop.  And the other, Nagasaki north end, alt 1500 ft., directly over center of bomb blast…

……. HE TOOK THESE PICTURES, I GUESS HE WAS THERE…!!!!!!

* Dan, Sent: Wednesday 12/11/2013    Hmmmmmm…. I am totally convinced that there is a connection to where ‘our’ dads were, when they were exposed to the radiation, and the ‘things’ that have and are happening to us kids…. LOOK at my website page referencing “atomic veterans’ and the conditions that have affected those ‘atomic’ veterans AND their offspring…. There’s a DIRECT connection to where Dad was and the birth defect of how my hand was formed…. What’s happening to Jim and Sharon’s health…??

* Curtis, Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 4:38 PM I didn’t get a chance to thoroughly peruse it but did see some REAL interesting stuff, i.e. original flight maps into Japan (I’m stymied by this).  Sharon needed the information for the funeral home because Eunice is being buried next to Charlie in Bay Pines and Ma can have same if she wishes.  Sitting in my office, as this is being typed, I’d guess 20 pounds of Charlie stuff with more coming.  BTW, Sharon and I were comparing notes… (Her father) Fran Conway died of cancer but like the Holmes family there are no reported cases of cancer in his lineage… oddly enough Fran was WALKING in downtown Hiroshima days after the surrender…and Jim and Sharon now have medical problems that are exploding… within 5 years Jim will be confined to a wheelchair and Sharon… well that’s a story onto itself…

* Dan, Sent: 11 December 2013, Subject: Re: Curt, all that information about dad….  Thanks…. Wonder what the VA wants with that file…? And the funeral home….? What other ‘stuff’ was in that file…?

* Curtis, Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2013 The pictures sent earlier today are B & W only I enlarged them to show detail. We’re working on Eunice’s funeral thus Sharon has the file the funeral home and VA wanted…once it’s returned I’ll forward…there’s a substantial amount of other, never knew it existed, stuff

* Dan, Sent: Wed, 11 December 2013  All that info about dad, that you are finding, means a lot to me….  It helps clarify things about dad that never made sense to me… I’ll color copy it then forward it to Donald…. Dan

* Curtis, Sent: Tuesday, December 24, 2013 9:38 AM I’ll pick up the file in the next few days…BTW, if anyone wants this picture of Roy Holmes, the one that Pete did the background drawings on, let me know…they can have it.  I don’t know if this is the original but the inside frame drawings are on a pinkish board with a cutout head shot of him attached…call it a back when cut & paste, literally…ask around, see if anyone wants it including Alan or Steve

* Dan Sent: Tuesday, December 24, 2013 9:38 AM Curt, I appreciate that…. You have NO IDEA the possible closure I can put to this last possible attempt to understand several things that I had asked dad about AND otherwise questioned, without as much as a constructive response from him…

…You have NO IDEA what this could mean to me….!!!

When I’ve had several, (even as recent as in the last few years), conversations with mom, she just did not know much about dad and his military experiences other than what she had in a few photo albums…

Years past, about 26 years ago, I even wrote congressmen and inquired with the Military records department in trying to get information surrounding dad’s military experiences… Copies of what I received I sent to Donald for his files…

… What greatly  increases my sensitivity about your  ‘file discovery’ is not only the standing questions from years gone past, but the additional question that this just found  ‘information’ raises in my mind is that IF this just found “pounds” of files about where dad was/etc. was so important to him to have kept it put away for over 68+ years, (and knowing that his first born son was born with birth defect that might have some connection to something he did or where he was), then what’s the big secret about …???

Why the secrecy….?

It might not have bothered me so much if I did not try and ask those questions those decades and decades, (starting over half a century ago), BUT I DID….!!!   I asked…..! …and I asked…!

Knowing now what I started to realize many years ago, I think that my birth defect was a continual reminder to dad of what he did during his war experiences… and because of that I recall what is now apparent to me having an ‘unusually neutral’ relationship with him, even verbally putting me down to such an extent that it even bothered mom when he did that… (see note below)…

…Also, I was always finding out things after the fact and was always being blamed for things whether I did anything or not… there’s more not worth mentioning… What doesn’t kill you only tends to make you stronger… So I dealt and have been dealing with it…

…Many times, I even specifically ASKED dad about his military experiences, before he got sick 37 years ago when I was trying to put things together…!!!  …and all of a response I can ever recall was that he had some ‘things’ left over for us kids to look through… I thought that the stuff that Donald received a few years ago was all that there was…. And looking through what Donald had received made no real sense to me nor answered anything of material significance…

NOW, when you mentioned that you had found this file, I believe this could help me put closure (and clarity) to part of an issue that I’ve had to deal with for my ENTIRE 67 year life, and/or put me on the research trail that I’ve been walking on for these past years… …. At least now I have a last chance…!!!

That’s WHY this information is so important to me….

I have to see it….

…and, I will color copy it all and then send it to what ever family wants to receive it…

Dan

Update: The files was received via USPS this afternoon, (12/24), and I studied the information right through Christmas Eve…

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NOTE: Pertaining to the unusual, out-of-balance ‘relationship’ I experienced with my dad, at the times it was happening I thought that was the way things were… In looking back and, at that time, having conversations with my 90 year young mother, I asked her about what it was like when I was born.

Her response surprised me…

Mom told me that “when I was born, the nurses waited for reasons she was never told, never brought me to her FOR THREE DAYS…!!

Without any explainatory conversation, on the third day after I was born, I was then brought to her.”

Mom believes to this day that the three day delay was precisely because of my birth hand and my dad trying to deal with it.

Now, I’m thinking this through, here we have a ‘marine’ (Dad) returning from ‘The War’, alive and returning to his new bride to begin a life together…

Mom gets pregnant 7-8 weeks AFTER the day my Dad is discharged from the Marine Corps…

I was born 9 months later… with a (birth) hand exactly as if a negative gesture was intended.

I also believe, from my Dad’s military reports, that being stationed on enemy-active Pacific theatre locations, that as a Marine, he was involved in doing ‘things’ while in “action against the enemy” that he wasn’t proud of…

Now, considering these factors, a ‘marines’ first born son, is born with a hand gesture I think that my hand was a constant reminder to my Dad of the ‘things’ he did during his military tour and that this was a sort of ‘karma’ towards him, where he could not forget things he wanted not to be reminded of……

Some of the deriding I experienced from him, while growing up, was to such an extent that my mother use to be upset with him in wanting him to ease up on me…

…I personally think that my Dad could not manage his memories of what he saw and did during his military experience and I was a constant reminder of those experiences…

Even looking back, when early-on photographs were taken trying to not capture my hand image, I found this picture and never realized that my dad was covering my hand with his hand…

In looking back at everything that happened, and after several related conversations with my mother, this is now what makes sense to me, after over (now) 7+ decades later…

Makes me sad to think about this, but I never stopped loving you dad…

Dan